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Jesus Joshua 24:15 Home  »  Forum Home  »  Everything Else  »  The Off Topic  »  Some en-light-ening humor



Absent-minded Webmaster

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Posted - 21 Mar 2007 :  21:36:15 Show Profile
Here's a collection of some of the music-related light bulb jokes I've come across. Have fun!

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • None, they have machines to do that now.

  • Five. One do change it, the other four to stand around and talk about how much better Dave Weckl would have done it.

  • Only one - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

  • Just one, so long as the roadie gets the ladder, sets it up, and puts the bulb in the socket for him.

  • One. But he's got to do it 3 times.

How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • 1...5...1,1...4...5...5...1

  • None. They're so macho they prefer to walk around in the dark and bang their shins.

  • Don't bother. Just leave it out - no one will notice.

  • One, but the guitarist has to show him how to do it first.

  • Six. One to do it, the other five to keep the guitarist from hoggin the light.

  • None, the piano player can do it with his left hand.

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • Five, One to do it, and four to stand around and gripe about how the old incandescents have a 'warmer' light.

  • None. They just steal someone else's light.

  • One, but he'll set the old one on fire.

  • Eleven. One to do it, 9 to stand around and say, "I can do it faster." and one to ask, "But would Stevie Vai do it that way?"

How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb?
- "Hey man, I just do sound."

How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
- "Don't worry about the changes, we'll fake it."

How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
- "...hmm.. I don't know, what do you think?"

How many music critics does it take to change a light bulb?
- They don't know how, but rest assured they'll find something wrong with the way you do it.

How does Ozzy Osbourne change a light bulb?
- First he bites the old one off...

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
- Will Rogers

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